At the end when Obama was driving and asked the security guard if he could leave, he or Jerry missed the perfect opportunity to come back with “Can I speak to your manager.”
“Comedians attempting to function as normal people.”
“I’d like to think maybe I would be in the hospitality business. Although, I have a bit of a problem with people.”
“Garden in an Italian family is huge. That’s where we get a lot of our food from. That night we found out there was a raccoon that was eating a lot of our tomatoes. My father was like, ya know, we’re going to murder these things. Get the anti-freeze. And we make balogne sandwiches soaked in anti-freeze. We wake up the next morning and the whole yard is covered in birds, racoons, dead.”
Read More: 250+ Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Best Quotes
“I try to be friendly, it doesn’t work.” ~~~ The Best Quotes From Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee
“She thinks I have a mean resting face. Like when I’m not smiling or talking it looks like I could murder your family.”
“As soon I walk in, there’s like 25 pairs of shoes right there in the door way. I’m walking around this guys house, with my socks on, talking to other people with their socks on. How could you have a conversation with another man, looking at their golden toe?”
“When did it become appropriate to come out in a flip-flop and sandals for a steak dinner? I’m trying to enjoy a T-Bone and I gotta look at some guys hoof.”
The SECOND he mentioned Larry David’s skin complexion Jerry immediately knew, laid his head in his hands, and mutters “the sunscreen” and i literally am audibly laughing.